Relationship

Freebap · #1 24-03-2015, 12:23 AM

I am in my late 20s and like many of the young couples, I have already BTO with my gf of around 3yrs.

Perhaps the application of BTO was abit hasty. And now, our quarrel is like bigger than before and it seemed that the BTO is the only thing that is holding us back. She keep saying that everything is tying her down financially, and sad to say, her thinking isnt that broad/mature yet. She tend to gets angry easily even over slightest thing(didn pick up her phone), and I am always the one to calm her down and apologize. And the cancellation of the BTO idea keep coming out whenever we quarrel.

I am really confused.. Should I just suck it up and just endure all of these for the rest of my life, and hope that things will get better? Or just cancel the BTO? Btw the down payment is already made, so it is morally right to return that 5% back to the other party in cash should anything happen?

What are your opinions bros?

Triple70 · #2 24-03-2015, 06:23 AM

The issue is not abt the BTO. This type of woman is not suited to be a companion, and from my experience, they will unlikely mature.

Imagine next time u become a successful person, and u hv to babysit a spouse who is constantly putting you down, eyeing your wealth and uses it for value destruction.

Find a better companion at all cost

ColdBlood99 · #3 24-03-2015, 06:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Freebap

I am in my late 20s and like many of the young couples, I have already BTO with my gf of around 3yrs.

Perhaps the application of BTO was abit hasty. And now, our quarrel is like bigger than before and it seemed that the BTO is the only thing that is holding us back. She keep saying that everything is tying her down financially, and sad to say, her thinking isnt that broad/mature yet. She tend to gets angry easily even over slightest thing(didn pick up her phone), and I am always the one to calm her down and apologize. And the cancellation of the BTO idea keep coming out whenever we quarrel.

I am really confused.. Should I just suck it up and just endure all of these for the rest of my life, and hope that things will get better? Or just cancel the BTO? Btw the down payment is already made, so it is morally right to return that 5% back to the other party in cash should anything happen?

What are your opinions bros?

You don't need cancel the BTO now unless you are taking key soon.

If you give up the bto, both will lost 5%, if you intend to get the house U will required to return back her 5%. But subjected for approval.

Captainoceania77 · #4 24-03-2015, 09:52 AM

If u willing to endure for until end of your life , just continue and marry her. If not just end it , you will be the one suffering . I can foresee more problems lies ahead after marriage and after giving birth. Good luck to you....Life is short just be happy.

hijav · #5 24-03-2015, 09:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Freebap

She keep saying that everything is tying her down financially, and sad to say, her thinking isnt that broad/mature yet. She tend to gets angry easily even over slightest thing(didn pick up her phone), and I am always the one to calm her down and apologize. And the cancellation of the BTO idea keep coming out whenever we quarrel.

I am really confused.. Should I just suck it up and just endure all of these for the rest of my life, and hope that things will get better? Or just cancel the BTO? Btw the down payment is already made, so it is morally right to return that 5% back to the other party in cash should anything happen?

Do you want this type of woman to be your life partner? Do not be delusional, its better to dump her and pay back that 5% to her than gpoing through an expensive divorce later.

By her saying that she is being tied down by the BTO, you can already see her immature character. That is just an excuse used by her and if she gets angry over every little thing, you are practically going to have to tiptoe around her for the rest of your life!

Im a guy and Im going to tell you that you should be a man and stand up for yourself. You are practically giving her permission to treat you badly because she KNOWS she CAN get away with it EVERYTIME. The fact that you know her bad character and still willing to endure it only makes me wonder either you are dumb or you have a fetish for SM

topcook1 · #6 24-03-2015, 09:57 AM

Why need to buy such a cow back home?? It will cost more than drinking milk outside.

heartkorr · #7 24-03-2015, 10:54 AM

got to think carefully. dont apply flat for the sake of applying...

my advise is... communicate with her honestly... let her know your honest thoughts.. and if it is indeed the bto flat that is holding the relationship, then i would suggest you guys to withdraw the application and go your separate ways instead...

because it is not worth getting your life ruined for a few thousand dollars if the gal doesnt suit you... think of it this way... married life unhappy, u makan outside, get caught, file for divorce, flat still have to sell, and you have to pay alimony... even worse...

sianar · #8 24-03-2015, 11:19 AM

no one can endure forever . we all think we can but only like 1 in a million man can .

Take care

Greendevil · #9 24-03-2015, 11:53 AM

what is losing 5% compare to having a divorce later where u stand to lose all. if she not marriage material, and you are looking for one, then move on. as for the refund if any goes to who, my suggestion is, take what is yours and those not meant for you, dont touch. if she want to take yours, then that another thread liao

ANowhereMan · #10 24-03-2015, 12:47 PM

Oh no, sorry brother, sad to hear that... There is one guy here, mojoe he offers good advice. Maybe can PM him?

aside from that, I think the most important thing is, do you see yourself having kids and starting a family with her.

Regards

oxeso · #11 24-03-2015, 01:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Freebap

Should I just suck it up and just endure all of these for the rest of my life, and hope that things will get better? What are your opinions bros?

Yes..only if u want to play Master n Servant, u d servant..or if u believe in miracles.
Excuse me if u think i'm too opinionated, i'm not..it's my personal experience.

Gd luck, bro.

porscheclub · #12 24-03-2015, 01:21 PM

Settle your happiness first & foremost.

All other possessions can sacrifice & never ever let a property hold you back, it's like putting two fighting cocks in a ring now. Bail out!

On the other hand. Understand her worries as it sounds like she is not ready to settle down yet. If there is still love from both parties then work around it, if not learn to let it go. Good luck.

Wintermelontea · #13 24-03-2015, 02:07 PM

You need not suck it up and endure. Certain things, yes, and not for long term as well because if it is for the long term, you will grow resentment inside of you too. Then what will happen will happen eventually.

Talking openly and mutually is perhaps one of the better choices? You can always try. Never try never know.

Like one of the bro said, "if one day you are successful...babysit...", provided you can be successful and babysit her at the same time. Please don't get me wrong to think you cannot be successful but it is very difficult to babysit anyone and be successful at the same time. And she is not a real baby that you just put a pacifier into her mouth and she will shut up.

You need to make an informed choice.

autoroam · #14 24-03-2015, 02:10 PM

Bro

Both of you should grow up......
Been together for 3 years and quarrel/breakup just because of a BTO flat

You guys might want to cut down on luxury expenses like car/handbag/clubbing/holiday etc instead

a2014 · #15 24-03-2015, 06:29 PM

Relationship don't sour up overnight. Furthermore apply for BTO for three years already and apparently knew each other for another 1 - 2 years.

There are a lot of missing links here which nobody can help because it only center around BTO and argument.

Something has changed be it someone's heart or feeling. Looks like it's not only a BTO affair.

Take care and act wisely.