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07-09-2020, 05:16 AM
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Re: Jokes for Relaxing.. [new thread]
A Lawyer, representing a Wealthy Art Collector called and said,
"Paul, I have some good news and I have some bad news." The Art Collector replied, "I've had an awful day, Let's hear the good news first." The Lawyer said, "Well, I met with your Wife today and she informed me that she invested $1,500 in two pictures that she thinks will bring a minimum of $15-20 million. I think she could be right." Paul replied enthusiastically, "Well done! My Wife is a brilliant Businesswoman ! You've just made my day. Now I know I can handle the bad news. "What is it ?" The Lawyer replied, "The pictures are of you & your Secretary."
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 Up me if want trade.....will not return if you dun hv min 60 pts Please Do Not reply long post, always edit...may zap and remove post 
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07-09-2020, 05:22 AM
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Re: Jokes for Relaxing.. [new thread]
Picture jokes...
        
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Up me if want trade.....will not return if you dun hv min 60 pts Please Do Not reply long post, always edit...may zap and remove post
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08-09-2020, 07:14 AM
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Re: Jokes for Relaxing.. [new thread]
Quote:
More more pls.
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09-09-2020, 10:06 AM
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Re: Jokes for Relaxing.. [new thread]
 I think she is right, we can't tolerate the same mistake 
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自由。。。是一种幸福 健康。。。是一种财富
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09-09-2020, 10:52 AM
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Re: Jokes for Relaxing.. [new thread]
Story from an Old West..
AN OLD WOMAN PROSPECTOR WALKED UP AND TIED HER OLD MULE TO THE HITCHING POST. AS SHE STOOD THERE, BRUSHING SOME OF THE DUST FROM HER FACE AND CLOTHES, A YOUNG GUNSLINGER STEPPED OUT OF THE SALOON WITH A GUN IN ONE HAND AND A BOTTLE OF WHISKEY IN THE OTHER. THE YOUNG GUNSLINGER LOOKED AT THE OLD WOMAN AND LAUGHED, "HEY OLD WOMAN, HAVE YOU EVER DANCED?" THE OLD WOMAN LOOKED UP AT THE GUNSLINGER AND SAID, "NO,... I NEVER DID DANCE... NEVER REALLY WANTED TO." A CROWD HAD GATHERED AS THE GUNSLINGER GRINNED AND SAID "WELL, YOU OLD BAG, YOU'RE GONNA DANCE NOW," AND STARTED SHOOTING AT THE OLD WOMAN'S FEET. THE OLD WOMAN PROSPECTOR -- NOT WANTING TO GET HER TOE BLOWN OFF --STARTED HOPPING AROUND. EVERYBODY WAS LAUGHING. WHEN HIS LAST BULLET HAD BEEN FIRED, THE YOUNG GUNSLINGER, STILL LAUGHING, HOLSTERED HIS GUN AND TURNED AROUND TO GO BACK INTO THE SALOON. THE OLD WOMAN TURNED TO HER PACK MULE, PULLED OUT A DOUBLE-BARRELED SHOTGUN, AND COCKED BOTH HAMMERS. THE LOUD CLICKS CARRIED CLEARLY THROUGH THE DESERT AIR, AND THE CROWD STOPPED LAUGHING IMMEDIATELY. THE YOUNG GUNSLINGER HEARD THE SOUNDS, TOO, AND HE TURNED AROUND VERY SLOWLY. THE SILENCE WAS ALMOST DEAFENING. THE CROWD WATCHED AS THE YOUNG GUNMAN STARED AT THE OLD WOMAN AND THE LARGE GAPING HOLES OF THOSE TWIN BARRELS. THE BARRELS OF THE SHOTGUN NEVER WAVERED IN THE OLD WOMAN'S HANDS, AS SHE QUIETLY SAID, "SON, HAVE YOU EVER KISSED A MULE'S ASS?" THE GUNSLINGER SWALLOWED HARD AND SAID, "NO M'AM... BUT I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO. THERE ARE FIVE LESSONS HERE FOR ALL OF US: 1 - Never be arrogant. 2 - Don't waste ammunition. 3 - Whiskey makes you think you're smarter than you are. 4 - Always make sure you know who has the power. 5 - Don't mess with old people; they didn't get old by being stupid.
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Up me if want trade.....will not return if you dun hv min 60 pts Please Do Not reply long post, always edit...may zap and remove post
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09-09-2020, 05:06 PM
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Re: Jokes for Relaxing.. [new thread]
laughter bumps....
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 Please excuse me if my desire to ignore you is stronger than my desire to give a fuck about your thoughts
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09-09-2020, 08:29 PM
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Re: Jokes for Relaxing.. [new thread]
PREGNANT!!!
An 18 year old girl tells her Mom that she has missed her period for two months. Very worried, the mother goes to the drugstore and buys a pregnancy kit. The test result shows that the girl is pregnant. Shouting, cursing, crying, the mother says, "Who was the pig that did this to you? I want to know!" The girl picks up the phone and makes a call. Half an hour later, a Ferrari stops in front of their house. A mature and distinguished man with gray hair and impeccably dressed in an Armani suit steps out of the of the Ferrari and enters the house. He sits in the living room with the father, mother, and the girl and tells them: "Good morning, your daughter has informed me of the problem. I can't marry her because of my personal family situation but I'll take charge. I will pay all costs and provide for your daughter for the rest of her life." "Additionally, if a girl is born, I will bequeath a Ferrari, a beach house, two retail stores, a townhouse, a beachfront villa, and a $2,000,000 bank account. If a boy is born, my legacy will be a couple of factories and a $4,000,000 bank account. If twins, they will receive a factory and $2,000,000 each. However, if there is a miscarriage, what do you suggest I do?" At this point, the father, who had remained silent, places a hand firmly on the man's shoulder and tells him, "You fuck her again." Realities of life🙏😅😂🤣
__________________
自由。。。是一种幸福 健康。。。是一种财富
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09-09-2020, 09:06 PM
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Re: Jokes for Relaxing.. [new thread]
Ha ha ha... very real, money changes everything !
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09-09-2020, 09:25 PM
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Re: Jokes for Relaxing.. [new thread]
Quote:
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10-09-2020, 05:34 AM
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Re: Jokes for Relaxing.. [new thread]
Quote:
More jokes pls.
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10-09-2020, 02:50 PM
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Re: Jokes for Relaxing.. [new thread]
Quote:
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11-09-2020, 07:54 AM
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Re: Jokes for Relaxing.. [new thread]
love more jokes.
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