I rejected him although I have feelings for him

[RealEstateGuy]

He's not that into you is the explanation. I suggest you read the book. A lot of times i might do what the guy did for you out of sympathy. Want to give you a good feeling and afraid to hurt yours but just not that into you. It's up to you to change that feeling. Sex is one option but doesnt necesarrily mean it will work long term. It could turn into a sympathy action on his part too so be forwarned that he may sleep with you not intentionally but out of sympathy and not wanting to say no so as to hurt your ego. If a guy is into a gal he will go all out. Just look at some of the men on this board spending their entire paycheck on KTV gals, wooing them with handphones, flowers, LV, Gucci, Givenchi, Lexus, BMW, Mercedes, escargo, diamonds, gold, cash alllowances, air tickets, holidays, subsidy of the gal's family expenses, subsiddy of the gal's real BF's expenses, starting busineses for her entourage, taking out loans, borrowing from friends, maxing out credit cards, etc. and even stealing to finance the gals lifestyle. Of course they are morons but I use them as a real life illustraton that when a man wants a gal he goes all out. Your best course of action is to move on and find a guy who IS into you.

SG soceity is largely a polite society and people will act nice to be kind you have to understand.

[coper99]

xiao meimei,, i use 2 play e hot n cold game wif young gals like u in e pass wen i was married,,. so,, he is MARRIED,!! stay away fr him,!!!

[subwayzz]

yeh most likely he's married. he only calls you when he's bored or wife not around. treating you as a part time fling. Even if he's not married from the looks of it you are not his priority.

Get to know more friends, take up courses, go shopping, engage in projects or charity organization to fill up your time.

Use your Wisdom to choose your Mr. right.

Gd luck

[MaMister]

maybe after he touch you.... he realised you are not his prey type... consider yourself lucky...

[aakumu]

Hi bros,
Some people will never learn till they get hurt.

My humble two cents.

[Peter_North]

Originally Posted by Lesp

This is too much of a generalisation, and to a large extent perhaps not entirely true. The loneliness here would refer to the lack of companionship of a partner, and hence men would be a cure for the loneliness of women, and vice versa as well. That's just what the opposite sexes offer each other.

But I think 'monkeys' are not the cure for loneliness is apt.

Loneliness refers to the lack of companionship of a partner ???

If men were cure for loneliness, women would never have had to commit adultery.

In matters such as relationship, nobody has the authority to pontificate on what is true or what is a generalization. We all strive to be persuasive in our arguments, and before we get there we should refrain from pontification.

You will gain your authority when you're persuasive; you don't become persuasive just because you appear to be authoritative.

[Glock]

Originally Posted by confused_girl

1. he never confessed loving me.. he used "like"
2. he's always busy.. he never purposely travel to meet me.. unless it's work related...
3. he said he cares for me.. but there was no phone call .... only sms

i have no idea how sincere he is.. sometimes i could feel that he truly cares.. sometimes not...

so.. i rejected him.. and i felt it was kinda like suicide / self torture / self destruction...

days later he never give me any attention... no sms..

your name should not be confused_girl it should be stupid_girl

you barely know the man and you want him to suddenly say he love you ?

you barely know the man and you reject him and he dont contact you and you are surprised???

wah lau eh

can you please go and read your schoolbooks if you dont study you will fail your exams

[MaMister]

bro Hamsapkwai, you have to post something and pm me so i can up you back.

[Aesthetic]

Originally Posted by goodpartner

What was his offer?
To reject, there must be an offer.
Did he have an indecent proposal that you reject? Did he ask you to be his GF? Reject what?

Actually, my take is that he is a player. The traits and events are just so telling... because players usually cast net out wide, many catches, then go through the sorting & "reject" process.

Basically, he bait you (hook you and perhaps many more in such an environment) and is experience at it (16year older, you're only browsing and he got your phone# so easily! The expo is his pond/sea), then caught too many fishes in the tank, throw some feeds now and then (SMSes, say care/like but no actions, etc), and see which fish "desperate" enuff to jump out of the water... (get laid), and wait for the next, that's it. Period.

You rejected him?
Nay.... he rejected you.

You're not confused, but actually in a very dangerous position now; about to jump out of the water/tank. He can afford to let you go, because there's much more on the plate to keep him "busy" (yeah... ofcoz), but YOU are being driven crazy now right... careful...

But it's better to be his "rejected" fish than be a "sorted" fish now.
In sorted, you'll just be the next in line to get laid, you're not good enuff to be his main dish now, he was eating main course during that holiday trip.

Consider yourself lucky to find this forum.
You won't be lonely here


p.s. I went on a 2-weeks break over christmas and new year, and sent a few "Miss U" SMSes too - my intention was to keep the interest level of those few sorted fishes up. No more SMS, means rejected liao, but if those supposed-to-be-rejected fishes jumps, eat la.
(Disclaimer: I don't work in booths)

You sound pretty experienced in the course of relationship...

[xyhan]

Mei Mei,

You get all the good advice from brothers here especially Brother Goodpartner. I kind of agree with his views... In my opinion, this guy is either playing hard to get and cool or you're just over reacting.

Better be careful.

[Mr_don_juan]

Originally Posted by confused_girl

i think this is crazy.. posting in a forum.. but i guess it works as I have nobody to talk to... talking to friends will just tarnish reputation of the guy I care for..

we met months back at a fair.. where he had his booth...
he was looking at me as I was browsing his merchandize and he later asked for my contact...

since then, we kept in touch via messenger, sms or whatever online social network...

this guy is always busy... that he hardly find time talking to me..
one day .. he went for a very long trip.. he started messaging me that he missed me...

i was confused.. why? he never called me.. always busy.. why all of a sudden miss me? I thought it was a joke.. I ignored..

once he returned... he called.. we talked and he sound sweet...

weeks passed.. he kept saying we should meet up again.. but it never happen.. It got me thinking if he was playing with me.. I sent an angry message saying that it'll b almost impossible seeing him / it'll never take place..

a week later, we met up.. it was nice.. I notice him smelling my hair and body as we were walking.. but I acted as if nothing happened...
he also held my hand when we were crossing the street.. it was all simple and we went home at the end of the day...

btw.. he brought me some gifts too.. like chocolate..

i'm bad at writing .. sigh T_T
to cut story short...

1. he never confessed loving me.. he used "like"
2. he's always busy.. he never purposely travel to meet me.. unless it's work related...
3. he said he cares for me.. but there was no phone call .... only sms

i have no idea how sincere he is.. sometimes i could feel that he truly cares.. sometimes not...

so.. i rejected him.. and i felt it was kinda like suicide / self torture / self destruction...

days later he never give me any attention... no sms..

i'm so lost.. i'm so addicted to him.. but at the same time i don't want to make the wrong decision...

btw .. he's 16 years older.. no.. he's not rich ...
i'm feeling helpless..

If you have nobody talk to, your social value reduced in his eyes. If you had more male friends, more parties, more social proof, suddenly you will look more desirable in his eyes. Forget about him, why waste time thinking if he will ever call you or whether he love you.

If he is busy, then be busier, get involved in more activities and dating. If he wants to play games, the next time he message you, don't respond for a few days or let him know you are in fact dating another guy, create some competition and turn the tables. Or you want to play more fierce, you say you already had a boyfriend when he try some "i miss you" thing, but you not sure whether he suitable for you. When he want to meet you, give him " i not free". You can choose to reschedule it or break the date.

He go nuts after that if you keep your game tight!

[indexes401]

Originally Posted by confused_girl

i think this is crazy.. posting in a forum.. but i guess it works as I have nobody to talk to... talking to friends will just tarnish reputation of the guy I care for..

we met months back at a fair.. where he had his booth...
he was looking at me as I was browsing his merchandize and he later asked for my contact...

since then, we kept in touch via messenger, sms or whatever online social network...

this guy is always busy... that he hardly find time talking to me..
one day .. he went for a very long trip.. he started messaging me that he missed me...

i was confused.. why? he never called me.. always busy.. why all of a sudden miss me? I thought it was a joke.. I ignored..

once he returned... he called.. we talked and he sound sweet...

weeks passed.. he kept saying we should meet up again.. but it never happen.. It got me thinking if he was playing with me.. I sent an angry message saying that it'll b almost impossible seeing him / it'll never take place..

a week later, we met up.. it was nice.. I notice him smelling my hair and body as we were walking.. but I acted as if nothing happened...
he also held my hand when we were crossing the street.. it was all simple and we went home at the end of the day...

btw.. he brought me some gifts too.. like chocolate..

i'm bad at writing .. sigh T_T
to cut story short...

1. he never confessed loving me.. he used "like"
2. he's always busy.. he never purposely travel to meet me.. unless it's work related...
3. he said he cares for me.. but there was no phone call .... only sms

i have no idea how sincere he is.. sometimes i could feel that he truly cares.. sometimes not...

so.. i rejected him.. and i felt it was kinda like suicide / self torture / self destruction...

days later he never give me any attention... no sms..

i'm so lost.. i'm so addicted to him.. but at the same time i don't want to make the wrong decision...

btw .. he's 16 years older.. no.. he's not rich ...
i'm feeling helpless..

Hey confused girl

I know you in lots of emotional pain right now.
Let me break it down for you based on what you mention above.

1 . he never confessed loving me.. he used "like"
2. he's always busy.. he never purposely travel to meet me.. unless it's work related...
3. he said he cares for me.. but there was no phone call .... only sms


Point 1
This point overlaps the explanation i have for point 2 and 3. Yes, during the courting stage, i will tell her i like her. When we hold hands and become closer, i will start to tell her i love her. From my experience, It is progressive. But that is just my experience. Other bros can provide you with other perspectives.
I guess there are also some cases where some alpha male hate to express to the girl he love her. Judging from your description of the guy (age and actions), i guess he doesn't belong to the alpha male category because he is quite wishy washy for a guy.


Point 2 and Point 3When a guy is in love with a girl, he will definitely try ways and means to grab every opportunity he got to sms, call, get close to you etc. If he only travel to meet you because of work related issues, something is definitely wrong here. It just seems like he isn't serious about you.
To verify, You can ask any of the experience bros here, i believe they will support my explanation.

* Just to add on, no matter how busy i am everyday,during the days when i am attached, i will drop at least one sms to my loved one to keep in touch with her.
If the guy doesn't even sms u or call u everyday, meeting you once in awhile, i guess it is not worth it to waste your emotional well being on him.

Try to widen your circle of guy friends and don't get too emotionally involved so early. Get to know them better. Many guys will do alot of things to move your heart so just be careful. I am not sure what is your age but i suppose you are quite young.
Time is on your side, no need to rush things.
I believe you will find someone you like and that someone will treasure you.

Study hard because this society is cruel. Having no qualifications means getting a screw up job and you get trample all over the place by your superiors. Once you can learn to take care and love yourself (financially or emotionally, improving yourself and reading widely), the relationship will come naturally without you working too hard.

Hope the above perspective can help you in a way.

[Milo69]

I had a gf who has the same encounter as u.. Same, she feels confused at that time, v lost, v sad n don't know wat to do. n we start 2 analyse.. He is a old time player in the love fields..he know hw n when 2 capture a woman's feeling. Basically he just toy.. he is married.. He let my friend feel hw much he care n love my fren.. N end up is all cheating.. Move on gal.. theres nothing much 2 look back, but theres something for you 2 look forward...

[HCKing]

that fellow most likely married, just sending some flirt msg when feeling horny.

could be a samster here somemore.

[prose]

Although you may have said that you love him and miss him, it seems that you have chosen to cut ties with him.

It also depends what you are looking for. Unless you are willing to risk a relationship with a player or be in a relationship with minimal commitment, I suggest you move on. Best option seems to move on. I assume you are still young. This means you still have a lot of choices ahead of you.