I rejected him although I have feelings for him

[confused_girl]

i think this is crazy.. posting in a forum.. but i guess it works as I have nobody to talk to... talking to friends will just tarnish reputation of the guy I care for..

we met months back at a fair.. where he had his booth...
he was looking at me as I was browsing his merchandize and he later asked for my contact...

since then, we kept in touch via messenger, sms or whatever online social network...

this guy is always busy... that he hardly find time talking to me..
one day .. he went for a very long trip.. he started messaging me that he missed me...

i was confused.. why? he never called me.. always busy.. why all of a sudden miss me? I thought it was a joke.. I ignored..

once he returned... he called.. we talked and he sound sweet...

weeks passed.. he kept saying we should meet up again.. but it never happen.. It got me thinking if he was playing with me.. I sent an angry message saying that it'll b almost impossible seeing him / it'll never take place..

a week later, we met up.. it was nice.. I notice him smelling my hair and body as we were walking.. but I acted as if nothing happened...
he also held my hand when we were crossing the street.. it was all simple and we went home at the end of the day...

btw.. he brought me some gifts too.. like chocolate..

i'm bad at writing .. sigh T_T
to cut story short...

1. he never confessed loving me.. he used "like"
2. he's always busy.. he never purposely travel to meet me.. unless it's work related...
3. he said he cares for me.. but there was no phone call .... only sms

i have no idea how sincere he is.. sometimes i could feel that he truly cares.. sometimes not...

so.. i rejected him.. and i felt it was kinda like suicide / self torture / self destruction...

days later he never give me any attention... no sms..

i'm so lost.. i'm so addicted to him.. but at the same time i don't want to make the wrong decision...

btw .. he's 16 years older.. no.. he's not rich ...
i'm feeling helpless..

[Lust4ML]

i think u still young to get someone closer your age.. u better move on

[Peter_North]

You're not confused; you're lonely.

Loneliness is every girl's weakest spot, and men know that. When you're lonely, any monkey who shows concern becomes a knight in shining armor.

It's the most dangerous thing, and ignorant as well, for any girl to base her selection of a man on personal loneliness. You're most likely to have been motivated by loneliness. Men is not the cure for loneliness.

[bodyglove]

he feels lonely and so do u....

[evulg]

Take a relationship as a business dealing....
Both have something you want and both have something to offer in exchange.

By saying such stuff and smelling you...etc he obviously wants you, but by not committing even to keep his promise of spending time with you sounds like he's not willing or cannot to offer something in exchange. Would you want to offer yourself to someone who cannot or will not offer you himself in exchange?

But then again, he's only 16 and boys naturally are not ready or really interested in relationships at this age.

Unfortunately, a relationship is not a business dealing, because the heart strings are attached. You have to find a way to forget; almost like going shopping and not buying the thing you want very much knowing that it's no good for you.

Time will heal all wounds and judging by his age, time is on your side.

[hamsapkwai]

Well if a person really cares for someone that special person will always be on his mind . And he would want to see her and be with her all the time. Call her frequently to talk just to hear her voice and sms tons.

Age difference and wealth is of secondary importance as long as he is not debt ridden and a spendthrift or hooked on to gambling tables and sniffing glue.


First and foremost he failed on the scenario i mentioned in the beginning paragraph so i dont think he should be in contention for your affections.

Besides you are young i assume and you should go meet lots of people just to cast a wider net. Just wean off this guy as he could be married and is out for kicks.

All things point to him not being really sincere so i suggest you just cold turkey on this fellow .

[Lesp]

Originally Posted by Peter_North

Men is not the cure for loneliness.

This is too much of a generalisation, and to a large extent perhaps not entirely true. The loneliness here would refer to the lack of companionship of a partner, and hence men would be a cure for the loneliness of women, and vice versa as well. That's just what the opposite sexes offer each other.

But I think 'monkeys' are not the cure for loneliness is apt.

[Castrol]

Originally Posted by confused_girl

i have no idea how sincere he is.. sometimes i could feel that he truly cares.. sometimes not...

just ask him to buy you a handphone and see his response lah.

[alan0338]

he just want to get under ur skirt la...

[etct88]

Originally Posted by evulg

Take a relationship as a business dealing....
Both have something you want and both have something to offer in exchange.

By saying such stuff and smelling you...etc he obviously wants you, but by not committing even to keep his promise of spending time with you sounds like he's not willing or cannot to offer something in exchange. Would you want to offer yourself to someone who cannot or will not offer you himself in exchange?

But then again, he's only 16 and boys naturally are not ready or really interested in relationships at this age.

Unfortunately, a relationship is not a business dealing, because the heart strings are attached. You have to find a way to forget; almost like going shopping and not buying the thing you want very much knowing that it's no good for you.

Time will heal all wounds and judging by his age, time is on your side.

... he is not 16, la.... 16 years older

Originally Posted by Castrol

just ask him to buy you a handphone and see his response lah.

Don't la, how can you suggest this common tactic, try something like shalll we meet at that IR hotel with a nice view, I haven't been up there...' and see what he proposed........

Originally Posted by alan0338

he just want to get under ur skirt la...

.... and many others......

[Ichigo_Kurosaki]

Little meimei, think this man ought to be sacked by his company. Instead of manning his booth, he saining girls?
Drop him..God knows how many girls he sained during the fair..Go with someone your age group is better for you cos life is like a box of chocolate...Hmm...he works for a chocolate sellers or something (long time never heard of such "cho-co-late" gifts liao) ?

Come to think of it, we go fairs always try to sian the show girls...

[waiwaiz]

hes married la.............so simple.

[Ichigo_Kurosaki]

Originally Posted by waiwaiz

hes married la.............so simple.

Bingo !!! What then again, need to know how old is TS too.
She seems very very young meimei.
Booth could be pasar malam booth.

[goodpartner]

Originally Posted by confused_girl

so.. i rejected him.. and i felt it was kinda like suicide / self torture / self destruction...

days later he never give me any attention... no sms..

What was his offer?
To reject, there must be an offer.
Did he have an indecent proposal that you reject? Did he ask you to be his GF? Reject what?

Actually, my take is that he is a player. The traits and events are just so telling... because players usually cast net out wide, many catches, then go through the sorting & "reject" process.

Basically, he bait you (hook you and perhaps many more in such an environment) and is experience at it (16year older, you're only browsing and he got your phone# so easily! The expo is his pond/sea), then caught too many fishes in the tank, throw some feeds now and then (SMSes, say care/like but no actions, etc), and see which fish "desperate" enuff to jump out of the water... (get laid), and wait for the next, that's it. Period.

You rejected him?
Nay.... he rejected you.

You're not confused, but actually in a very dangerous position now; about to jump out of the water/tank. He can afford to let you go, because there's much more on the plate to keep him "busy" (yeah... ofcoz), but YOU are being driven crazy now right... careful...

But it's better to be his "rejected" fish than be a "sorted" fish now.
In sorted, you'll just be the next in line to get laid, you're not good enuff to be his main dish now, he was eating main course during that holiday trip.

Consider yourself lucky to find this forum.
You won't be lonely here


p.s. I went on a 2-weeks break over christmas and new year, and sent a few "Miss U" SMSes too - my intention was to keep the interest level of those few sorted fishes up. No more SMS, means rejected liao, but if those supposed-to-be-rejected fishes jumps, eat la.
(Disclaimer: I don't work in booths)

[Max77]

Haha...women's nature. You all like to test guys with the extremes so those inexperienced guys who dunno your kind of game ran. Too much threatening words plus too little sex equal to break-up/divorce as simple as that. Almost every guys went crazy when his gals tell him this:" i know what's on your mind, i'll give you what you want only when i'm ready"...try it, sure hook most guys you desired.