Guys.. i need a personal opinion please

[6-sic-6]

hi.. first of all i'm not singaporean but grew up there since primary school then headed to the states and now located in guangzhou china.
Life is great in guangzhou, all about partying and one night stands. Well, what i want is an opinion from you brothers.. before i continue i would like to say that this is not a field report etc etc, much rather a situation where i am tied up in and confused about. This is going to be a long story.

To begin, met this girl in a club, PRC of course about half a year back. I was wasted and i ended waking up in a hotel, not knowing where i am until she told me. Had sex the night before but i'm not going into details. We left the hotel went seperate ways. exchanged phone numbers and msn.

Then about 2 weeks after that, got a text from her asking whether i wanted to meet her. Horny son of bitch that i am, i went to meet her in the same club. Drink, party etc etc, got wasted headed to my home. boink boink then in the middle of it i felt asleep... i know pathetic right.. i was just too drunk.

This is where things started to get strange. EVERY month she comes to visit me from hangzhou, which is about 1 hr drive from shanghai. She flies from there to guangzhou about once per 2 weeks at her own expense. Visits me bla bla bla..didnt have feelings for her at the beginning. was plainly just sex.

As months passed, i decided to ask her what she does, seeing that she is so free and i would say loaded from the frequent flights that she takes.. She didnt want to tell me at first then i finally convinced her. She told me that she was a singer, travelled to malaysia, indonesia and singapore to work. i would consider PRC girls working in those places would probably end up in the entertainment industry. She told me she retired, was crying when she told me a guy was "taking care" after her. I already knew from the beginning, didnt bother to say anything.

She didnt want money from me or gifts etc etc. But instead, had her giving me money instead as at one point i was having economical problems. She just started putting money in my wallet without me knowing. Didnt take the money as i feel that it would be some kind of scam. but as weeks pass i trully see how much she wanted to help me.

THEN..........................3 months after seeing each other she told me she was pregnant..... couldnt freaking believe. i told her its impossible that it is mine and she dared me to take the test when the child is born. Dumb f*ck that i am, i never use condoms on one nights stands. So i figured, everything was starting to make sense, all the visits, all the cash etc was just for this one purpose. But i was wrong, after she told me she was pregnant i decided to stop seeing her. about 1 month later she started sending me massages saying that the baby is not a problem as she has the capability to take care of it and she doesnt want to for me to marry her (prc laws requires couples to be married before giving birth otherwise the baby wont have identity), she just wanted to spend time with me. Now i am seeing her again as i felt i need to take upon the responsibility. I could say that i am starting to like her.

Question for you guys, do you feel anything funny about this situation? does she really like me or just using me for god knows what?

And another thing is that she told me she worked in Topps lounge in SG. She never really told me what kind a place it is. so i was hoping someone in this forum could tell me. What kind of an environment it is? is it just purely a KTV or KTV with girls to accompany etc etc..


Please guys i need advice and answers on this one.

Thanx

[cockscrew22]

brudder,

pardon me, but i think u screwed up big time!

firstly, you neber worn any protection. now, you looking for a reason/excuse from other brudders here to lesser your guilt so you can run away from your responsibility. what do you expect us to say? console you?
blame it on the gal whom u slept with?

we were not there in the first place when u were screwing her, now we definately can't be there after you screwed her!

we cannot help you with any answer, you have to sort out your own mess.
if u r man enough, u should talk to her about yr concerns and take up your 'fucking' responsible as a father.

from:wise one

[rafa_benitez]

Without further knowledge about the characters involved here, it is hard for an outsider to comment.

To ease your anxiety (or guilt) for good, I suggest you bite the bullet, go for the DNA test and be responsible for your own actions, if that is indeed the case.

my two cents' worth

[simonsay]

I just read thru briefly and can i said that she was some marriedman's mistress and in China the birthcert need a daddy and you are trapped into being the father.

Comments.......................

[clowny]

2 question to ask ..

Qn1.
you can ask the doctor to see if the baby's urs...
or u can ask yourself if you think the baby's urs..
(if you ask yourself.. dun doubt it NEXT TIME)

Qn2.
you can only ask yourself if you ready for her and the baby.

hope it helps

anyway dunno wheres the KTV/lounge u mention.
there is always 2 types of gals..
one who doesn go out and the other who goes out.
but once you work for long , most prob you end up being the latter

[alsahaf]

If the kid is yours, I think you should take the responsibility. The rest is quite secondary.

[sanwa]

i also think that you should go for test, if it is your kid, you have to take responsibility.

btw, if a girl, does not take any contraception medicine, then keen to have unprotected intercourse, she should have determined to have a kid. Normally a girl only wants a kid from the one she loves.

[blue_swatch]

Sounds more like you have been had and it is a trap all along. But unfortunately u played into her trap.

[dermacare]

....if u r not ready.....ask her to abort.....no point dragging......

[dexblu]

Originally Posted by 6-sic-6

To begin...Had sex the night before but i'm not going into details. We left the hotel went seperate ways. exchanged phone numbers and msn.

Mistake #1 - U should have paid her

Then about 2 weeks... boink boink then in the middle of it i felt asleep... i know pathetic right.. i was just too drunk.

Mistake #2 - U should have paid her

This is where things started to get strange. EVERY month she comes to visit me from hangzhou, which is about 1 hr drive from shanghai. She flies from there to guangzhou about once per 2 weeks at her own expense. Visits me bla bla bla..didnt have feelings for her at the beginning. was plainly just sex.

As months passed...

Mistake #3 & much more - U should have paid her

She didnt want money from me or gifts etc etc. But instead, had her giving me money instead as at one point i was having economical problems. She just started putting money in my wallet without me knowing. Didnt take the money as i feel that it would be some kind of scam. but as weeks pass i trully see how much she wanted to help me.

WORST Mistake - Instead of paying her... You ACCEPTED her money

THEN..........................3 months after seeing each other she told me she was pregnant..... couldnt freaking believe... Now i am seeing her again as i felt i need to take upon the responsibility. I could say that i am starting to like her.

Since you already had your personal feelings laid out above... why bother aking for opinions here...?

Cheers and good luck on your eventual decision....

[I<3Ivy]

Regardless of if it is a trap you have fallen into or not, if the baby is yours via DNA testing then be a man and take up the yoke of responsibility. Right now you are not sure if the baby is yours but as your gentlemanly duties demand of you, you have to take care of her with the assumption that it is yours. If paternity tests prove otherwise post-birthing, then wish her the best of luck and carrying on partying and one-night stands this time using condoms.

Don't let the child's life be fcuked up because of your mistakes or inability to deal with complicated situations.

The matter of whether the woman loves you, or you love the woman will come later. First and foremost, you need to start saving $$$ for the birth and initial year for taking care of the child. If throughout this process, you and the girl develop strong, real feelings for each other, then good, because the child will have a loving environment to be born into.

As far as my opinions or advice goes, abortion is out of the question. It is a cruel procedure to both the unborn life you will extinguish, and for the woman as it is a brutal experience, physically and emotionally.

You already seem to be in a favorable position whereby the girl has seemingly developed an emotional attachment to you. Now all you need to hope for is that it is real.

The question as to the nature of her work in Singapore at Topps or whereever it may be is irrelevant. You already have an idea of what she did or didn't do. Questioning her further and confirming your suspicions will only hurt the both of you. You cannot change the past, but you can cherish what you have now and make something of it.

I wish you a lot of luck (you will need it) as the path you tread is neither simple nor easy. But life is all about dealing with crap like this, just do the best of your humanly abilities and take it as it comes.

My motto is; just because some of the women we screw are whores, doesn't mean we aren't gentlemen about it.

[cockup]

Just wondering, are you married 6-sic-6?

[threebears]

dude! how old are you? sounds like you were just born yesterday. You've just been had by the oldest trick in the book! Don't have the kid with her unless you know what you're getting yourself into and are prepared to spend the rest of your life bearing that responsibility. It's not fair to yourself, not fair to her and most of all, not fair to the kid.

[clowny]

Originally Posted by dexblu

Cheers and good luck on your eventual decision....

no choice dexblu..
free fxxx alot of ppl want...

[KOJIKABUTO]

the only common both guys and gals share. a guy gets someone pregnant. and a dirl got pregnant.

about your question:
do you feel anything funny about this situation? does she really like me or just using me for god knows what?

its funny actually. thought thattv drama dont happen in real life. a "not so nice" girl falls in love with a "nice" guy, the guy dont like her at first, but loving her in the end. your story right?

does she likes u? tell u and im sure u know, sex is addicting and maybe she just treat u as her sex FUCKner at first. but hey, why you did'nt use a condom? anyways, its too late for that already.

An unsolicited advise:
don't ruin your life with a thought of a child that your not even sure that it's yours. evaluate the situation and make the correct decision.


no condom ??? wow!!!