What should I do?

[AA35]

Half year ago, I discovered that my husband is a member of this forum. I have three kids. And to make the matter even worst, my husband had fallen in love with a FL. When I discovered this, I wanted to commit suicide with my three kids. I was thinking why men can't be faithful? We have been married for more than 10 years. And I am a good looking wife. I have lots of opportunity where men come to approach me but I never give a chance because I love my husband. For many years, I know my husband as a good loving husband and a loving father of my children. I never thought that he was one of the samsters here. I do not wish to hurt my husband; this dark secret has been kept between me and him. No one else knows about this. I have to act cheerful and like nothing had happened, before my parents, relatives and friends. As they know I am a cheerful person, I have to act it out even though my heart breaks. As I live with my parent-in-law, I can only release my sadness by hiding in the toilet crying after midnight. As I do not wish to annoy my husband by crying in front of him, so I choose to hide and cry in the toilet. I come to this forum to search for an answer. I now know that it is not because men are selfish, it is because they have their needs. But I don't know why this happened to me. I guess 99% of woman who have this kind of encounter will think this way. Because my husband was KCed by his FL lover that's why he fallen for it. After that I have discovered, my husband tried his best to keep me. He explained that he lost control that's why he does such a thing. I never blamed him for this incident, as I am his first GF/Lover and he does not have any other relationships before. I suggested that I would leave him and let him be with his lover. But he refused to. My husband had posted a topic in this forum. In the topic, he had written about how miserable his lover is and how he needs to help her. At first, my husband just treats her as a friend and hopes to help her out. But she KCed him and make him fall for her. I have seen this lover of my husband before. She is just a normal looking woman which I think I am much better looking than her. She is not young. She is a MILF with a child. I had talked to her on the phone and she had promised not to see my husband again. But she betrayed me as she meets my husband again the next day. She showed my husband her swollen eyes because she cried that few days after her breakup with him. And she even sung him a love song. And because of this, my husband could not get over and posted his rants in this forum even though they are no more in contact. My heart hurts badly even today. I am living in misery. My husband had done a lot of things to win my heart back. He brought me to places we go during our courting time to hold me back. But I am still lost today. I don’t know which path I should choose. The problem lies with me. I could not get over what my husband had done half year ago and what he had written in this forum.

[sammyboyfor]

Not another one!!!!

If it's any consolation, 90% of all Singapore husbands are members of this forum so what's the big deal?

Your case is hardly unique. You're part of the majority.

[weiwei]

At least you aren't alone.

[sammyboyfor]

Originally Posted by weiwei

At least you aren't alone.

There are about 8 guys that I'm on very good terms with.

They're all married. Every single one of them has engaged the services of a whore or two over the last year either at home, abroad or both.

Just get used to it. It's part and parcel of life.

There's no point leaving one man for another. Chances are the next one will be no better than the one you ditched as far as this aspect of life is concerned.

If a man treats you well, loves the children, is financially secure, provides for the family and doesn't come home drunk every day, count your blessings. You're one of the lucky ones.

[alan0338]

u can contribute more to get points and get power, then zap ur husband ...

btw, wats his nick

[sammyboyfor]

Originally Posted by alan0338

u can contribute more and get points and get power, then zap ur husband ...

If she tells me his nick, I'll put him straight into moderation for being such a bastard!

[xxxx4]

TS, you seem to be familiar with the terms. MILF, KC, FL, GL, GF,... which i don't really know what those terms mean.

[Ichigo_Kurosaki]

If I recalled correctly, your husband started a thread in this MOH section about his affair with the FL some months ago.

I have a pretty good idea who is he cos someone claimed to be his wife sent me a pm thanking me for posting in his thread.

I deleted that pm cos I thought it was a hoax ~ "receiving a pm from a thread starter's wife thanking you" was really very very unbelievable!!!!~ I rather want to believe striking 8 ToTo draws, 12 4D draws and Big Sweep same month is possible !!!

[goodpartner]

Originally Posted by sammyboyfor

Not another one!!!!

If it's any consolation, 90% of all Singapore husbands are members of this forum so what's the big deal?

Your case is hardly unique. You're part of the majority.

Wow! I thought my guess of 80% is already very generous! Whopping 90%?!! Impressive! LoL
So the song about "Ten Men, only 1 Good" is true...

Originally Posted by weiwei

At least you aren't alone.

Weiwei, maybe this TS is your BF who started a new nick and post similar story with an even more serious case (married for 10yrs with kids) just to let you feel [better] that you're not alone? So coincidental meh?

[Xgenre]

Think of your 3 kids. Don't anyhow think of suicide. Sorry for saying this but that Bedok Reservoir case is damn sad. Don't be like that. Everything can be discussed. The kids are innocent. Your husband betrayed your marriage but he didn't betray his duties as a father right? If you commit suicide, it's not fair for your 3 kids to be deprived of a mother's love while growing up.

[Iemanishere]

Hi, I do understand how u feeling, as said 90% try talking to him and see how.. Sure as long he treat u well.. Take care.. New to this site but not on others.. Cheers

[goodpartner]

Originally Posted by Xgenre

Think of your 3 kids. Don't anyhow think of suicide. Sorry for saying this but that Bedok Reservoir case is damn sad. Don't be like that. Everything can be discussed. The kids are innocent. Your husband betrayed your marriage but he didn't betray his duties as a father right? If you commit suicide, it's not fair for your 3 kids to be deprived of a mother's love while growing up.

Is this the case with the women all dressed in RED (plus red finger nails) together with the 3yo toddler and committed suicide (WITH THE KID) looking for a eeeeeerrie revenge? I heard the husband won the custody of the kid...being one of the reason. This is even more unfair for the kid!

So dun pray-pray with women.... I mean those "crazy" ones. I've encountered these kind before and man....it's realllllly..... CRAZY! Do all sort of stupid bodily harm to make you feel bad... treaten to jump, etc. WTF.

[appleice]

Originally Posted by goodpartner

Is this the case with the women all dressed in RED (plus red finger nails) together with the 3yo toddler and committed suicide (WITH THE KID) looking for a eeeeeerrie revenge? I heard the husband won the custody of the kid...being one of the reason. This is even more unfair for the kid!

Yes I think that is the case. Mummies, be strong for your darlings.

[Ichigo_Kurosaki]

Originally Posted by AA35

Half year ago, I discovered that my husband is a member of this forum. I have three kids. And to make the matter even worst, my husband had fallen in love with a FL. When I discovered this, I wanted to commit suicide with my three kids. I was thinking why men can't be faithful?

…………….……

My heart hurts badly even today. I am living in misery. My husband had done a lot of things to win my heart back. He brought me to places we go during our courting time to hold me back. But I am still lost today. I don’t know which path I should choose. The problem lies with me. I could not get over what my husband had done half year ago and what he had written in this forum.

Every married couples will tell you that all marriages go through phases of love, ups and downs. Even if one's marriage is over, it doesn’t necessarily means your life is over. It is very frustrating many people seemed to believe committing the most horrific acts of suicide is the next best only option and dragging kids into their selfish madness act is justifiable to escape the daily tortures. In your case, you have gone through not 1 but 3 (!!!) nine months of greatness from pregnancy to birth with all the requisite prenatal care, regular doctor appointments and diagnostic test checks to check on the “health of your babies”………… Yet in a moment of despair (forgetting there’s hope in it), you have fail to recognize your profound role as ~ A Mother ~ and that, all your actions will alter your live and others forever……Think about your parents, what will they suffer? Will they blame themselves for not reaching out to you? Your actions could wreck their lives too! Is that what you want for them? They had already lost their daughter. Can you begin to put yourself in their position if they had lost 3 grandchildren as well? I doubt any parents or grandparents would be able to survive it on top of everything else. You wouldn’t know or care less cos you are dead anyway, even if your selfish act leaving family and friends bereft and suffering, with many unanswered questions frequently every nights and all for what!! ~ For the fact that ~ you couldn't ride through the problems and survive to come out of the other side!

Stop blaming youeslf! If you want to win back your marriage, stop fighting it the “wrong” way. You need to really focus on the “How” not the “Why” and not bringing up past mistakes or reopen old wounds cos you are directing your marriage and yourself leaning towards a “The End” instead of “Once upon a time again” . The more past conflicts come into current thoughts, the less healthy for you emotionally and your marriage. There is always light at the end of the tunnel and no matter how low or miserable you feel now, the only way is recover & up cos any marriage woes could be remedied if both of you are willing to give it a fresh shot at it. Life is for living and in spite of all it has to throw at you, there will be many times ahead of you that make it worth having persevered through the difficult and painful times. Good luck!

[orneryjoe]

TS....

You really need to realise and accept the plain and simple truth that humans are a non-monogamous species. Then you will also realise that much of your misery is needless and self-created. Just snap out of it and live life.

Please do study this site very carefully. It will increase your chances of happiness with your husband.