Should break up or not?
 

Hey bros, I have learnt many valuable insight in this forum. In your opinion, is it better to stay or break up if the guy do not feel anything for the girl anymore, but she treats him extremely nice, and he is afraid to hurt her feelings? 4 years relationship

Re: Should break up or not?
 

I waited 15 years to break up when I should have done it within three weeks.

I even managed a marriage and a child in those 15 years.

End it if you cannot see yourself being with her.

You will also be doing her a favour. If it has to end, end it sooner.

Re: Should break up or not?
 

the longer the guy drags, the more she will feel hurt.

Re: Should break up or not?
 

Why end it, nowadays not easy to get girls in sg for most average guys.

Is your gf too plain looking and boring?

If no feeling and attraction has faded to sour then break bah, dont waste her time.

Nice is what kind of nice, example?

If cant reciprocate her nice, eventually you may abuse it.

Re: Should break up or not?
 

Lol I thought getting girls is about confidence or money or looks?

I mean cook for you, take care of you, supports in anything you do except no feelings of love.

Re: Should break up or not?
 

Perhaps you can share with us what attracted the guy to the gal in the first place and why suddenly have no feelings to the gal now? If the gals treats him extremely well, it would be a pity to let her go coz it's difficult to find such girls nowadays..... If it is due to physical appearance then difficult to advise coz once u lost the lust for her it's difficult to continue..

Re: Should break up or not?
 

Wha bro that is a long time. I respect your endurance. Honestly, is she sad about the overall outcome?

Re: Should break up or not?
 

I guess it's a series of conversations and events that led to the relationship. The lack of feeling is caused by a few intense quarrels which led to repression, endurance, and ultimately apathy. The quarrel led to avoidance of sex because the emotional element is no longer there. However, gradually she changed. Honestly, is it very hard to find someone that treats a man well? I have seen many relationships and marriages, but god knows what happens behind those doors.

Re: Should break up or not?
 

The first couple of years were terrible of course. The feeling of betrayal, time wasted and all that. The usual.

Plenty of ugliness as expected, and the child gets weaponised, they always do unfortunately.

But time heals all wounds so she’s in a much better place now as is our child.

Don’t wait till you have children. Don’t wait at all once you’re sure you no
longer see a future with her.

Re: Should break up or not?
 

Yes should break up

Re: Should break up or not?
 

Maybe getting girls is easy for you bah, probably you not the average sg joe most of the rest of us are.

Re: Should break up or not?
 

short term pain better than long term pain
be fair to the girl also. if no feel, dont waste her time. Youth is very important for females.
The longer you drag, the more painful it is when the breakup eventually comes.
Unless you still see a chance for long term good ending with her......

Re: Should break up or not?
 

How old are you and how old is she? If both sides still young, break up. If both sides are in their mid-30s, man up and marry her.

If you cannot find someone you love, not a bad idea to find someone who loves you more in a relationship. She treats you well even though you hardly feel anything for her anymore. Seems to suggest she is a low maintenance girl emotionally. It's easier to be with a low mainenance, independent person in the long run.

I have friends who were in long term relationships. Super in love type that didn't work out. Even he settled for a girl who he can live peacefully with. Marriage may seemed like a scary idea where you are supposed to love your wife forever. I'm not sure how in love he is with his wife. Maybe he still loves his ex-gf more but once the kids come along...the love for your own children will be many times more than the love of an ex-gf. This guy I know is a Super Dad now who is very responsible and loving towards his 2 children. Maybe you will be like this too.

Re: Should break up or not?
 

Both late 30s. Is it really okay to be with someone who you don't much feelings anymore? Honestly, it's a difficult choice. Also it could be quite selfish to hurt someone feeling in the process. So you are saying having the kids could be one of the reason to push forward?

Re: Should break up or not?
 

Give a good talk with her 1st
Ask yrself what u want ?
If nothing can be done n u still feel lousy why drag ?
Don't fall into marriage n divorce ... worse then u have kid
If see no future n not comfortable don't marry for marry
Will be more happier for both if not mend to be together :)
Always bad to hang on because had been relationship for years n end up married n become unhappy